Self Appreciation－ A Journey of Understanding, Acceptance and Respect

A luminous and exhilarating day once felt dark and gloomy for me. Submerged in self-doubt and hatred, I often spent my time dwelling upon my own mistakes, blaming myself for even the slightest and negligible mistakes. But just like how sunlight can infiltrate through the clouds even after prolonged darkness, self-hatred, or even worse, disgust, can turn into compassion, pridefulness and the feeling of self-worth. 

Being quite academically talented as a kid, I often based my self-worth on results, achievements and admiration from others. Slips in academic performance, losing a competition, or simply not getting enough praise from my parents caused me to repeatedly doubt my potential and the possibilities I can have in the future. Battered up by myself, I wasn’t confident enough to face challenges, and it often resulted in losing many chances to shine, whether it be performances or just times to speak in a crowd. Soon though, I realised that this type of negativity can be redundant. Societal expectations, wanting to fit in, or the desire to get ahead of others are extremely normal. But do we live for others, or do we live for ourselves? That’s something important to take into consideration  

And then I started to take small steps to be more confident and understanding of myself. First of all, it is essential to accept our flaws and shortcomings. We all want to be perfect and have a spotless track record. But that’s not reality. Some of us just can’t throw a ball, do math, or sing a song. In fact, these imperfections in each of us are what make us unique. Next, it’s really important to know that we have already done our best. Life is hard, and there will be times when obstacles get in our way. As long as you’ve put your utmost effort into every task you accomplish, no matter what the results are, consider it as an experience, but not as a burden. Furthermore, focus on your strengths. Especially in Asian culture,  where academic performance is the pinnacle of people’s parameters to measure self-worth. But some of us just aren’t built for tireless studying and grinding. Find your own areas of expertise and interest, and focus on them (of course, don’t give up entirely on schoolwork). Just know that there are many diverging paths in life, and each one leads to a fruitful and impeccable harvest. 

We’ve all walked to a certain extent in life, and are trying to live as much as we can. I know you have worked so hard to gain what you have now, but there will always be some setbacks. It is normal to get lost when you are exploring new things. Learning to accept yourself as who you are can be a tough process, but please remind yourself with me: there is no need to belittle or blame yourself, instead, embrace and accept every aspect of who you are with kindness. Remember that many of us are on the same path, and it’s not shameful, but rather a healthy act to seek support from others. There are more people than you may expect who are willing to listen to your troubles and guide you along the jagged path of life. I hope my experiences and feelings can bring you some warmth.