3 tips to avoid being a control freak
There is a kind of fear called irrational fear
American psychotherapist David Richo once mentioned in his book When Love Meets Fear that “fear is subjective.” Fear is usually produced by our subjective consciousness, but what we fear may not actually be scary. For example, it’s normal for you to be afraid of dogs if you’ve seen them bite people. However, if you’re afraid because you think that they spread diseases, this would be considered an irrational fear, a false belief that is not supported by any evidence or past events.
In fact, people with irrational fears are often very sensitive to sound. The buzzing noise of mosquitoes and the ticking sound of clocks can be extremely disturbing to them, even if they are negligible to others. When they hear the ticking clock, they will feel like it’s rushing them to finish their work, but at the same time, they’re worried that they would make mistakes. The more they think, the worse it gets, and they will gradually become annoyed and irritated.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with fear. An appropriate degree of fear can bring out our ability to deal with crises. Yet, irrational fears are hard to fight or avoid. Sometimes, we might feel helpless as our fears devour us whole. . In truth, we’re not scared of the object or event itself, but the powerlessness we feel when something is out of our control. So, whenever we’re in great fear, we will try our best to avoid things we’re scared of, eventually becoming a control freak who can only be at ease when everything is exactly as we expect.
3 tips to avoid being a control freak
Fear can be triggered by many different things, including uncertainties and changes. For instance, you might feel uneasy whenever you encounter something you’ve never experienced in the past, but once you have, you may realise that it’s not as terrifying as you have thought.
When you feel like your fears appear a lot and has taken over your life, try these three tips:
Tip 1: Believe in yourself
Doubt hinders even the smallest steps toward fighting fears. Instead of ruminating on how powerless you feel, you could start by trusting yourself to have the courage to try and face upcoming difficulties. Obviously, your challenges won’t go away overnight. But in the grand scheme of things, each small advancement you make will amount to great efforts in conquering your fears. Believe that you could make a change, one small step at a time.
Tip 2: Assess your strengths and capabilities
We often feel afraid when things don’t go our way and we can't seem to adapt to the situation. . So, assessing your strengths and capabilities is quite helpful in reducing our fears. Knowing what you can (and cannot) deal with under certain circumstances could clear away your uncertainties, giving you the tools and confidence to step forward.
Tip 3: Lower your sensitivity
Desensitisation is a common practice in psychology to help people reduce their levels of fear toward certain objects or events. You could try lowering your sensitivity with a step-by-step approach. For example, if you’re afraid of snakes, the first step is to make yourself comfortable with hearing about snakes. Then, try looking at pictures and videos of snakes, and finally, observing them from a distance at the zoo. With this step-by-step approach, you will gradually be able to get rid of your phobias.
Facing these uncomfortable situations all by yourself can be overwhelming. Come talk to us at JC Levelmind about your fears. There will always be uncertainties and fears in our lives, but we’re here to help you overcome them and get past these difficult times!
